Time to start running again..
I want to start running again... Long long runs... Runs that will never have an ending point.. so that I will not have to the time to stop and think of anything at all..
It is the only way that I have now to keep my sanity from the bites of reality...
It hurts real bad... but someone once told me that "Pain is Good, Pain is your Friend... It tells you that you are still Alive.."
I am certainly very much alive...
Some may think that I am running away from reality... but the fact is when I get on to the tracks I will be transported to somewhere so far away from everything that is bothering me.. thats somewhere that I can just do nothing but be in a state of blankness.. Just the endless tracks and me... There I found my serenity, there I found my retreat, there I found myself...
I will not know when I will stop running.. I just want to exhaust every ounce of my energy in running... so that I will not be able to think about anything at all when I stop... I wish that sometimes I would fall on my tracks and stop there... and not getting up again... just lie there bleeding and feeling the pain slowly seeping out of my body... seeing the world come to a closure in a painless way.. There it will take me to that special place where I will not feel any pain, thats where pain is no longer my friend.. there will only be fond memories and experiences that I keep with me.. there will only be secrets that I take with me.. there will only be faces that I remember in my mind..
There will only be me in the end.
I have started out running the long stretch alone...
And maybe.. probably.. I will end it alone too... soon..