Love is selfless or Love is selfish?
Well, there's something I don't understand... That is whether is LOVE is selfless or LOVE is selfish?
I'm still trying to grasp the true meaning of LOVE... Its a four letter word that have been a mystery to me all this time..
Is it an emotion?
Is it a theory?
Is it a practice?
Is it a religion?
Is it lifestyle?
Or is it just plain bullshit?
I don't know... I really don't know.. No one can explain it, no one that I met.
I have been searching for the missing piece of my life puzzle all this while...
So many times in life I thought I had found it... So many times I was wrong.. Will I ever find the missing piece? That thought is beginning to fade out into the darkness of time once again.
Lately as I walk along the streets and I see loving couples holding hands and hugging one another strolling by, I can't help but to envy them.. But on the other hand I wonder.. that is the person besides them the right one for them in their life? How do they know that he or she is the right one? Do they just know or do they feel more than think about it? How long does they take to know or feel that way? Is it an instant thought or emotion that will shoot right into them when they are together? Or do they go through a period of time before they know they found the right one? I wonder...
Someone once told me this... That in life there is never the right one for you.. Is just loving the person right... well said... not its not easy to do that.. To love a person right takes time.. not to mention patience in trying to get to know the person more, understanding how the person behaves in different situation.. communicating with one another, be it just talk or argument.. accepting the differences of each other, not changing but accepting.. thats the difficult part. Its never easy to accomplish all that.. Thats where alot of them out there failed.. I seen too many cases, too many.
I failed too.
I'm amazed how others handle their emotions when they face with relationships problems..
I seen people take it as if nothing had happen at all, which I'm very surprised and impressed by them, cause they are able to hide their emotions so well in front of the world.. I don't know whether they felt so hurt that they closed up from the world out there.. Or maybe they aren't hurt at all? Cause they weren't serious at all in the first place? I seen people broke down into tears and totally devastated when it happen, they cried for nights, weeks, even months. I guess they must have felt the world caved in on them cause they felt hurt? Or are they trying to gain sympathy? So that they could have another chance again?
Different strokes for different folks... Along the way, I picked up a lesson or two on this... I realised that sometimes you need to know how to regulate your feelings... Its like installing a regulator in your emotions department, a switch to turn on and off, or a tap that can adjust the quantity of emotions flowing out.. That way, you will be able to manage your emotions better when it comes to relationship problems.. You will know how to adjust yourself to different situations and conditions...
My friend told me that don't give your all when you are just starting out in a new relationship cause you never know whether will it work out in the end or not. Regulate the emotions slowly towards the other party and in time to come you will adjust the flow depending on the situation and condition of the relationship.
That sounded reasonable.. But how much time do we need?
But I always think that if you don't give your all in a relationship to make things work you are not not being fair to the other party. That way how are you going to know whether it'll work out eventually? Cause you are constantly not giving your full 100% into the relationship due to the fact you are holding back? Just so that you will not get hurt again? Just so that you are sure that it will work out then you invest more? Just so that you will not be wrong again?
So LOVE is selfish?
But what about being fair to the other party? What about being truthful to other party? What about putting the heart and soul into the relationship? What about unconditional love? Is there such thing still? Do you feel good when you know your other half is not giving all in this relationship with you? Can you forgive them for doing that if you finds out? And still be with him or her? Can you allow yourself to wait for your other half to make sure before he or she starts to commit to the relationship? Can you forget about the betrayal they did to you in the past? Just because you really love him or her so much?
So LOVE is selfless?
I don't know.
Maybe I'll only know when LOVE happens... 